Relationships with family and friends

I still feel that I have been neglecting the importance of family and friends in my life.  My family has dinner every Sunday at my grandmother's house, and for the past year I've been there only a couple of times.  Not that I have such a busy schedule, I just preferred to have the weekends free.  But the last couple of weeks I went and felt that it was nice to see them.  At the end of the evening I'm certainly ready to leave, but it is usually a positive experience.

Family always brings up old memories and issues, so sometimes it is easier just to stay away rather than make the effort to spend time with them.  My moods can shift very quickly around my mother, so it can often be a stress to be there too.  But there's something comforting about eating a meal with family and then lounging around watching TV together.  We're not the most communicative bunch but we are who we are.  My grandmother has Alzheimer's and is getting worse, so it is important for me to be able to spend as much time with her as possible while she still recognizes me.  

I also have trouble getting close to friends.  I have one good friend that I see on a weekly basis, we usually go out to eat or see a movie.  I also go to 12-step meetings (AA and NA), so I see people there a few times a week.  But aside from that, most people remain acquaintances.  There are so many people that I could easily initiate friendships with but I just don't do it.  I'm fairly independent and prefer spending a lot of time doing my own thing, although a certain amount of interaction is needed on a regular basis.  I think becoming close to somebody requires a certain amount of vulnerability, and I guess I find it easier to avoid that as much as possible.

Relationships are an essential component of health and can't be ignored.  Allowing myself to have more close relationships would be one of the best things I could do for myself.

An evening with friends and food

I have often failed to consider the social aspect of health when trying to figure out how to feel my best.  I find it much easier to focus on food, nutrients, exercise, etc.  I tend to be more of an introvert and feel most comfortable alone or with small groups, so socializing is something that takes effort.  However, I've noticed that the times where I feel the best are when I have felt a connection with other people.  This isn't always the case, often social situations can come with a lot of anxiety too.  This is an area of my life that needs some improvement, so that I can feel more at ease with people and to reap the benefits that comes from human connection.

Today I went out to eat with some friends and had some good food.  I ended up deciding to eat whatever I wanted, including dessert.  Eating out has always been a very important thing to me, and it is usually the place where I have trouble balancing my diet.  When I reduce my consumption of unhealthy foods, it is the thought of not being able to eat out that I stress about.  The thought of never being able to enjoy certain foods with friends, etc.  I've yet to find a proper balance where I'm able to eat these foods but then go back to eating properly right after.  For some reason I think there are only two options, either being extremely strict or having a free-for-all.  This is a common belief that causes me a lot of difficulty in different aspects of my life.

But today was good.  Going out, seeing people I have not seen in a while, and enjoying good food  I don't see how such an evening can be seen as a bad thing even if what I ate wasn't perfect.  Maybe it really is possible for me to have some sort of balance that I'm at peace with.  This is what my original goal was, to find a balance where I am taking care of my self and not feeling deprived.

Friendship is an essential component of health, and I hope give it the attention that it deserves.