So yesterday was supposed to be my grand entry into the sugar-free world. The outcome: failure. During most of the day I was able to avoid any sweets, although during the day is not the worst time for me. Most of what I will usually have would maybe be one soft drink in the afternoon, and some sugar in my coffee. But these were not so difficult to avoid.
Come evening, the cravings hit full force. My ritual of coming home and having a giant chocolate bar with a soft drink popped into my mind, then would go away, then came back again, and I would continue to try to push it out of my mind. I had pizza for supper, which did contain some sugar and also a whole ton of white flour. I'm pretty sure I react to flour in the same way, having some makes me want more. So this may have contributed to my evening cravings. I'm still considering removing gluten for digestive reasons. I mentioned that I hate the idea of fighting against cravings, and I really do, I felt that once they began I had already failed to achieve my goal.
So finally, I caved and just went for it. Ironically this happened as I was reading "The Diet Cure" by Julia Ross, a book I wanted to re-read to give me some more insight into the addictive nature of certain foods. Her book is great, and does a fine job of tearing apart the idea of low-calorie dieting. We need to nourish ourselves with the proper foods if we want to overcome our mood swings and unhealthy food cravings. She doesn't think there is something wrong with us, but that for certain reasons our brains and bodies are our of balance, which leads to cravings and mood issues. I do feel that her support of amino acid supplementation is a bit overly simplistic and I doubt it works as well as the examples she provides from her clinic. I have tried 5-HTP and Tyrosine, and they may have provided some benefit, but not to the extend that described. On the other hand, I never used the whole program she recommends, only pieces of it, so maybe if I gave it a fair chance it would be more effective. Anyways, I'm fed up with taking supplements and don't want to spend a fortune on a bunch of them right now. I prefer to learn to eat in a way that does not require extensive supplementation, that feels natural and allows food to not be a huge issue.
Yesterday I just felt like giving everything up. Why should I keep reading about health when I can't even make simple changes? But I think this kind of attitude is what I've always used to give things up. I'm going to continue my research, trying different approaches, and doing whatever is necessary to make peace with my eating habits. If that means eating whatever I want and not being concerned about health, then so be it. I'm open to whatever it is that will bring me peace of mind.
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