Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Getting what I think I want isn't what makes me feel best

After my last post I thought I had it and was going to give up on all things health related.  I was fed up with struggling, always trying to eat well but failing.  Anyways, I've been continually eating what I very well wanted.  Pizza, chocolate, burgers, fries, soft drinks, all sorts of garbage.  And I've been feeling like absolute garbage too.

But the physical aspect of this debauchery was not the worst.  It was the psychological aspect.  The lack of control, shame, self-disgust, etc.  Last night I think I reached an emotional low-point that I just can't allow myself to reach again.  It became clear that whatever comfort I was looking for in this junk was not going to be found there.  And the negative feelings that came with it had gotten worse and worse.

Today I woke up and felt like I was starting fresh.  I know what my problems are: sugar and gluten.  I react badly to both and can't give up one without giving up the other.  When I eat either one I feel the need to continue eating them, for whatever reason.  I've suspected gluten intolerance for quite a while but ignored it for the majority of the time.  I can deal with the bad digestive issues, I'm used to it.  What I can't deal with any more is the beast that seems to be unleashed when I consume either of these products.

So today they have been banished from my life.  And magically, the cravings disappeared.  Not consuming them at all is just so much easier than trying to satisfy a never-ending craving, and I already feel better for it.

By maintaining a free mind that isn't hi-jacked by constant unhealthy food cravings, I'm free to pursue my interests in health and spend more time discovering other hobbies that I have yet to try.  I thought that  satisfying every urge was going to solve things, but I was wrong, another lesson learned.

No comments:

Post a Comment